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Sarkin at her New Vernon home. She joined Vanity Fair 22 years ago, earning the nickname "the celebrity wrangler" by bringing in the biggest names.

Sarkin has met royals, partied with Andy Warhol and spent time in Tom Cruise’s bed (details on that later). She talks about the stars by first name – Nicole, Gwyneth, Julia. The longtime features editor of Vanity Fair magazine also organizes the magazine’s coveted Oscar party, sets up celebrity shots for the cover, brainstorms the annual Hollywood issue. She has worked with Bono, Demi Moore, Brad Pitt, and George Clooney.

But Sarkin doesn’t gossip. No scoops on who throws temper tantrums, who is oddly superstitious, who makes unusual food demands, or even who comes late to the photo shoot looking terrible without makeup. The tidbits she offers—Mick Jagger is surprisingly shy; Julia Roberts changes diapers; Katie Holmes has a lot of energy—are, frankly, yawners.

“People would be surprised at how normal celebrities are,” says Sarkin. “People put celebrities on a pedestal. They think they breathe different air.”

Initially, one might think the same of Sarkin. Her New Vernon home is decorated with items she's picked up in her travels, the tabletop photos of her children were taken by renowned photographer Annie Leibovitz (a co-worker). And, Sarkin herself, in one of her signature outfits—jeans, a crisp white shirt and quilted ballet flats—looks just as girl-next-door glamorous as many of the celebrities she covers.

And she certainly does glamorous things. Last summer, Sarkin persuaded Tom Cruise to let Vanity Fair publish the first public photos of his daughter, Suri. And so, Sarkin spent more than a week at the Cruise family compound, eating, sleeping, roasting hot dogs and toasting s’mores around the fire pit—and lounging with the rest of the family in the Cruise bed cooing at the baby. On one of those days, in an only-in-the-21st-century moment, Sarkin stood with Cruise and Holmes on a Colorado mountaintop as the sun was setting and paparazzi-filled helicopters hovered. The baby smiled. And Annie Leibovitz snapped the camera.

It was, as Sarkin says, surreal. “Jane from New Jersey is in Telluride with Suri Cruise,” she says.

But for Jane from New Jersey, it was just another pinch-me moment in a pinch-me filled life.

As a child growing up in Hillside, Sarkin loved watching the Academy Awards; she wanted somehow to be part of that world. After graduating from the University of Vermont, she got her lucky break—a job at Andy Warhol’s Interview magazine. Warhol was serious about the quality of the magazine, but, during down times, he would paint. Or party. It was a heady time. “We had a ball, we really did,” says Sarkin. “Andy was great to me.”

In 1985, she joined Vanity Fair, where she was nicknamed "the celebrity wrangler"—first for cajoling the big names to come to the magazine’s then-fledgling Oscar party, later for locking down interviews and cover shoots.

“Everyone in Hollywood is obviously doing Vanity Fair for a reason. I get them there,” she says. “If you’re on the cover of Vanity Fair, you really have crossed into a different world. We demand a lot from our cover subjects.”

It’s a high-pressure job, and Sarkin does a lot of crisis management—she’s prepared for celebrity cancellations, delayed flights, rain. Of course, it also helps to have world-renowned photographer Leibovitz run her photo shoots. “When it’s all ready, watch the magic begin.”

And for Sarkin, it is still magic, which is surprising, because, after more than two decades in this intense showbiz swirl, you’d expect her to be a bit more jaded, a bit less likely to gush and not so quick to use the word "amazing" when she talks about her job. When you talk to Sarkin, you sense an almost old-fashioned sense of the role of the media—that Cruise should be judged on the merits of his work, and not the quirks of his personality.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. It’s a phrase many children hear from their mothers, but the Sarkin children embrace the philosophy. Which perhaps explains why Sarkin feels lucky despite a variety of family tragedies—her father died when she was 13, her brother died recently in a plane crash, and another brother, Jon, suffered a stroke. “You rally,” says Sarkin. Her brother’s stroke meant he had to quit his job as chiropractor—but it allowed his dormant artistic ability to flourish. After seeing his work, Sarkin suggested he send it to the New Yorker, launching his multiple-medium art career, and Tom Cruise has bought the movie rights to his story.

“Let him be. Let him do what he wants to do,” she says. He is making very interesting movies; he’s got a great wife, a gorgeous family. What else can you ask of this person?”

Fame is not the same as it once was, Sarkin says, adding that she can't help but feel for stars today who don’t have the chance to build a career slowly. “It’s very difficult to be a celebrity today. You’re famous because you dropped your baby in the street, you didn’t wear underwear or you messed up on an awards show. Everything is so fast; the paparazzi are like wild dogs.”

And that's just one reason that Sarkin doesn’t dish. Which, in turn, may partly explain why she’s so successful, why she was invited to Julia Roberts’ home to work on an upcoming cover story. Roberts was nursing, changing diapers, part of one “chaotic, crazy, happy family.”

It’s simple, say friends and family. Celebrities trust her. She’s grounded, she’s authentic.

“People don’t let phonies come into their lives like that,” says Sarkin’s husband, Martin O’Connor.

Sarkin is so successful because she respects privacy, the sanctity of family, says a longtime girlfriend. She is also a tremendous ally—the one who says, “You can do this.” When there’s a crisis, she will remind you of what’s important. “What’s real is you, your life, and your family.”

And Sarkin works hard to keep it so. The New Vernon part of her life is the part that truly matters. Her husband is a lawyer. They met in high school; they both attended the Pingry School in Elizabeth, and their children attend the school's Martinsville campus today. (The school is such an important part of their lives that Sarkin was the keynote speaker on career day last year.) She rushes to get her kids off to school in the morning and commutes to Manhattan every day (she rarely breaks her own rule of "no more than three nights away from home"). Her weekends are not spent at cocktail parties and clubs—she spends time with her girls, Kate and Lauren, hangs out with friends from the neighborhood. It’s a big responsibility to be a working mother with two young daughters, she says.

When mom’s a Vanity Fair editor, you get a lot of perks—Sarkin's daughters have met just about every red-carpet celebrity. “They know that’s a special thing,” says Sarkin. Usually the girls know exactly where mom is, but when Sarkin went to Colorado to get the coveted photos of Baby Suri Cruise, the mission was so top secret she had to invent a ruse even for her family. And then she had to make excuses when she phoned home and the girls asked, “Oh mom, can we talk to George Clooney?” Sarkin is a strict mother; the girls must be respectful and honest. “There’s no other way,” says Sarkin. “You have to tell the truth. What else is there?”