Despite the boom in social networking and online dating, most unmarrieds in the Garden State agree—there’s simply no substitute for getting together face to face, the old-fashioned way. But meeting one on one for coffee, lunch, and dinner dates can require a lot of time (and money) so, for maximum efficiency, many singles are flocking to group events. It’s cost-effective, non-threatening, and a smart way to meet throngs of kindred spirits in one fell swoop.
A Roomful of Possibilities
In early 2009, recognizing the need for upscale singles events in the counties of Somerset and Morris, the historic Bernards Inn in Bernardsville began exploring the notion of hosting Signature Singles cocktail parties.
“Single people in the community have been asking for such events, but we didn’t know where to begin,” says Lauren Montemarano, catering manager for the Inn. ”We promoted the idea through our contact list and website, and also invited the local Mendham Singles organization (see next page). Then we waited for the reservations to roll in.”
The premiere Signature Singles cocktail event was hosted in the Inn’s Silver Vault and Wine Pantry, private rooms designed by noted decorator Jeffrey Haines of Far Hills. The evening affair, priced at $50 a person, featured an open bar, hors d’oeuvres, and a roomful of possibilities.
Executive chef Corey W. Heyer whipped up bite-sized crab cakes, tenderloin of beef on herb-roasted croutons, and other passed hors d’oeuvres, as well as standing stations of fruit and cheese. The Inn really got into the spirit by creating a tasty Signature Singles pear cosmopolitan just for the evening.
General manager Diane Carr observes, “We knew there was a market for singles events, but were quite surprised and delighted that so many professional people have supported this idea. Now it’s evolved into a quarterly event with guests booking reservations early to ensure their spots.”
While the Inn initially expected an intimate group of 40 for its first event, the buzz grew steadily within the community, and almost 80 attended.
Among the partygoers was Jim Sullivan, an IT client manager from Westfield. ”I’ve been divorced four years and travel a lot for business, and it’s very difficult to meet someone who has the same interests and is geographically compatible. The singles event at the Bernards Inn is a nice local venue to meet other unmarried people,” he says.
”The Signatures Singles evening was lovely. Great atmosphere, great cuisine, and great people. A wonderful time was had by all, and I met a lot of new friends,” adds Donna Puglisi, a hairstylist from Mendham.
These professionals say they’ll keep coming back for the Signature Singles events—which are seen as a fun and pressure-free way to jump into the dating pool and to establish real-world social networks for tennis, golf, dining, and wine tasting.
Crab cake with red pepper aioli
from chef Corey W. Heyer
For the crab cake:
1 lb. jumbo lump crabmeat, picked through to remove shell fragments
3 tbsp. mayonnaise
3 tbsp. fine bread crumbs
1 tbsp. mustard powder
2 tbsp. chopped parsley
1 whole egg, lightly beaten
1 pinch cayenne pepper
Juice of one lemon, zest removed and saved for aioli recipe to follow.
Fine sea salt to taste
In a mixing bowl, combine crabmeat, parsley, and bread crumbs. Season mixture with salt to taste. In a separate bowl, combine egg, mayonnaise, mustard powder, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper. Mix until very creamy and smooth. Pour mayonnaise mixture over the top of crabmeat and gently fold together until mixture is evenly combined.
Form 40 half-ounce crab cakes and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes while mixture sets.
To prepare:
Heat a thin layer of vegetable oil in the bottom of a skillet over medium heat. Lay as many crab cakes into the skillet as possible, leaving room to flip them when they are golden brown. This requires approximately 2 minutes per side. Lay browned crab cakes on a cookie sheet and finish heating them in a 350˚F oven for 5 minutes or until hot.
For the red pepper aioli:
2 red bell peppers, roasted and skin removed
2 cloves of garlic, finely minced
1 cup of mayonnaise
Zest of one lemon
1 pinch of Spanish paprika
1 pinch of cayenne pepper
Sea salt to taste
In a blender, purée roasted red peppers, garlic, lemon zest, paprika, and cayenne until smooth. Add mayonnaise and blend thoroughly. Adjust the seasoning with salt. Refrigerate aioli until ready to serve.
Arrange crab cakes on a platter with red pepper aioli for dipping.
For the chicken sate: 1 lb. boneless breast of chicken,
cut into 32 1/2-ounce pieces
1 one-inch piece of fresh ginger,
finely chopped
2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
2 shallots, finely chopped
1 cup of olive oil
1 tsp. cracked black pepper
Sea salt to taste
32 6-inch bamboo skewers
Combine garlic, shallot, olive oil, black pepper, and chicken in a mixing bowl and marinate overnight in the refrigerator. Remove the chicken from the oil, insert a bamboo skewer into each piece, and season with sea salt.
To prepare:
Place chicken on a hot grill until cooked through, approximately 5 minutes.
Arrange chicken sate on a platter and serve with pineapple-coconut dipping glaze.
For the Pineapple Coconut Glaze:
1 ripe pineapple, all skin removed
1 can Coco Lopez
1 one-inch piece of fresh ginger, peeled
1 clove of garlic
1 finely diced red bell pepper, seeds and stem removed
2 tbsp. chopped cilantro
Juice of one lime
In a blender, combine pineapple, Coco Lopez, ginger, and garlic. Over medium heat, simmer pineapple glaze until reduced by half, approximately 20 minutes. Add red pepper, lime juice, and cilantro and serve immediately.
CUPID HITS THE TARGET
One of the most successful social organizations in the area, Mendham Singles was established in 2000, and many long-term friendships as well as several marriages have been attributed to the community-service endeavor. Among those success stories are Ceil and Jim Ricciardi of Mendham Township, who attended one of the first events and have been inseparable ever since. “After nine years together, Ceil and I finally tied the knot this past August. It proves that singles events can actually pay off,” says Jim.
“There really are knights in shining armor out there, and it can happen when you’re least expecting it. Jim and I are fortunate to have a fairy-tale ending,” Ceil adds.
Tips for Hosting Local Singles Soirées
❤ Compile a list of unmarried friends, neighbors, and business colleagues, and ask each person to contribute additional names.
❤ Invite singles from one or two communities, and expand geographically once you gauge local interest.
❤ Make everyone feel welcome with an initial phone call. Subsequent invitations can be sent via e-mail.
❤ Maintain a balanced gender ratio. Females typically are more apt to attend singles events than males of the species, so give the men a nudge.
❤ Word of mouth is a powerful thing. Send e-mails to local organizations and houses of worship and watch your membership grow.
❤ Rather than house parties, restaurants are a good option because the establishments do the prep work, handle cleanup, and maintain insurance protection to cover the unforeseen.
❤ Partner with a local restaurant that has a private room. Many establishments are happy to offer drink specials and complimentary snacks for a large party. Or charge a per-person price with an open bar and hors d’oeuvres.
❤ Some singles appreciate “ice-breaker” activities, but others like simple conversation with no planned events. Ask your attendees what they prefer.
Creative Ways to Meet Kindred Spirits
Besides the Bernards Inn’s Signature Singles events, there are many creative ways to meet other unmarrieds in Somerset, Morris, Essex, and Union counties. The key to success is finding a good mix of activities, being a good communicator, and marketing yourself a little.
✣ Check out meetups.com to find local wine tasting, hiking, dining, business networking, and other social organizations that tend to attract singles.
✣ Enjoy the great outdoors with New Jersey Sierra Club Singles (newjersey.sierraclub.org/Singles) or Morris County Ski Club (ajcis.com/mcsc/)–which hosts skiing and much more.
✣ Consider innovative dating services such
as itsjustlunch.com.
✣ Speed dating and pre-dating can be fast and fun. Check out cupid.com events (pre-dating.com) in Millburn and Morristown.
✣ The Park Avenue Club in Florham Park has introduced a new singles organization that welcomes members as well as non-members (parkavenueclub.com).
✣ Online dating sites like eharmony.com, match.com, and PlentyofFish.com enable members to meet singles from other cities and states.
Note: The quality of singles organizations and websites can vary widely, so be sure to do your homework before joining.
