Are You Becoming Your Mother?

No matter how much we love our mothers, becoming just like mom is the one thing many of us fear the most. And inevitably, the day arrives when we hear a phrase come out of our mouths, or look in the mirror under a particularly harsh light, and think: Oh, no, it’s happened. I’ve become my mother.

But have you? Consider these signs that you are indeed evolving into dear old mom, and indicators that you’re not.


10 Signs You’re Becoming Your Mother

1. You tell your child she is not going out of the house dressed like that.

2. You recalculate every restaurant bill, just in case they overcharged you by a nickel.

3. Rap? That’s not music, that’s noise.

4. You wake up with the sun, no alarm necessary.

5. And only stay up until midnight on New Year’s Eve (when you go to bed at 12:02).

6. You never have to be reminded to write a thank-you note.

7. You enjoy folding underwear.

8. You’re shocked, shocked, by what you hear coming out of characters’ mouths on prime-time television.

9. Wearing silver and gold jewelry together feels as wrong as putting ketchup on ice cream.

10. And speaking of ice cream: No ice cream for you unless you finish those vegetables.


And Five Signs You’re Really Really Not Morphing into Mom

1. Your daughter wants to borrow your clothes…but you wouldn’t let her go out of the house dressed like that.

2. Throwing a dinner party means ordering three extra pizzas.

3. You hire College Hunks Hauling Junk just to watch them carry your old sofa from one side of the room to the other. Except, now that you think about it, you really liked it better back on the other side of the room, and doesn’t he want to take his shirt off?

4. You still aren’t sure exactly what a Swiffer is.

5. When you take your kids out to dinner, you eat ice cream first. Who cares if you don’t have room for the entrée?


18 Ways to Rush the Season

We’re so glad spring has arrived! The first shoots of green have pushed through the damp earth, it’s warm enough to go out without a coat, and excitement is growing for the bounty of flowers, sunshine, long days and late-night barbecues ahead.

So how do you welcome spring? Here are ways to celebrate the new season, no matter what the thermometer says.

1. Buy a bundle of cherry blossoms, so you’ll have a riot of blooms in the house even if the shrubs outside are still mostly bare.

2. Wear something bright pink, green or yellow. Even if it’s underwear.

3. Open the sunroof and blast the heat at the same time, to summon up the wonderful feeling of a warm breeze in your hair while you drive.

4. Make a playlist of great spring songs, from Elvis’s “Spring Fever” to the Beatles’ “Here Comes the Sun,” from Irving Berlin’s “Easter Parade” to T-Pain’s “I’m Sprung.”

5. Grill your dinner and eat it on paper plates.

6. Flirt with someone younger than you.

7. Throw open the windows.

8. Trade in the red wine and martinis for sparkling rosé and frozen margaritas.

9. Move your exercise routine from the gym to the outdoors, or start swimming, to remind yourself what you look like in a bathing suit.  (Motivation!)

10. Replace the pine branches in the window boxes with fresh pansies.

11. Sit around the fire pit at night and pretend your back half isn’t freezing.

12. Hose down the outdoor furniture and buy fresh cushions.

13. Dump all the chips and crackers, cheese and cake from your pantry and stock up on fresh fruit and vegetables (even if it all still comes from Florida).

14. Spend a weekend afternoon biking along a river or strolling through a flea market: It doesn’t have to be aerobic, as long as it’s outdoors.

15. Pack away all your wooly sweaters, even if you have to sneak them out again once or twice.

16. Wash the windows.

17. Drive to the beach and rent a summer house, or just dream about renting one.

18. Sleep naked!

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